A Very Brady Bicentennial
by G.L. Peabody
Summary: It's the Summer of 1976 and the Bradys are planning on celebrating our nation's 200th birthday with the help of Sergeant Gomer Pyle, Sergeant Major Vince Carter, and the Marines from Henderson-Camp Henderson, that is- not Flo .
1. The Spirit of '76

_4222 Clinton Way. Monday, 21 June 1976. 1800 Zulu (11:00 AM PDT)_

The Bicentennial Planning Committee was by far Carol Brady's favorite civic project to date. As chair of the committee, it was her task to make sure that the event planned at Westlake High will be the most patriotic 200th birthday party in the country. Thousands from throughout the Southland were expected to attend. Mrs. Brady was joined on the committee by Mrs. Kelly, Mrs. Ditmeyer, and of course, Alice. The Brady girls, now young women, were also in the room, seated next to a rather large Marine with a lot of stripes and even more ribbons.

As Chairperson Carol addressed the group, "Ladies, our big Bicentennial celebration is getting closer to reality. Let's quickly report out what we have accomplished before I turn it over to guest. Alice?"

The Brady Housekeeper reported, "Sam and the Caterers are all on board. We will have a 4th of July picnic like you wouldn't believe. Watermelon, hot dogs, hamburgers, ice cream, soda…."

Carol continued, "Thank you Alice. Mrs. Ditmeyer?"

The Brady's neighbor informed the group, "All necessary permits have been approved and filed."

Mrs. Kelly, another of the Brady's neighbors added, "Police, fire, and ambulance are all on call."

Mrs. Brady added, "Let's hope we don't need them." Addressing her daughters Carol encouraged, "Girls?"

Marcia Brady, the USC fashion merchandising freshman home for the summer, reported, "There are several gross of patriotic outfit accessories in the garage—Uncle Sam hats, red, white and blue giant sunglasses, USA tiaras, etc."

Jan Brady, who is doing a summer internship with her dad while waiting for her high school senior year to start, assured the group, "The stage will be good to go by the end of the month."

Cindy Brady, recent Fillmore Junior High Grad and debate champ, was last with, "Keynote Speaker Brigadier General Edward Gray, U.S.M.C. has confirmed that he will be available Sunday July 4th."

Mrs. Brady acknowledged her daughters and neighbors, "Thank you ladies." Carol then turned her attention to the one gentleman in the room, continuing, "This celebration would not be the same without the help of the Marines. It was actually my youngest daughter who gave me the idea to 'call in the Marines' to accomplish this task, and I took her literally. Here with us today to discuss the Marines' role in our celebration is Sergeant Major Vince Carter, USMC. Sergeant Major Carter is the senior enlisted Marine at nearby Camp Henderson, as well as a veteran of the conflicts in Korea and Vietnam. Before returning to his old post at Camp Henderson, Sergeant Major Carter very recently finished a tour of duty at the White House. I now give you Sergeant Major Vince Carter, USMC."

Carter blushed as red as the stripes on his pants while the ladies applauded. He thought he even heard a whistle, which no doubt would make his wife Bunny more than a bit jealous.

The Sergeant Major addressed the group, "Well ladies, it is an honor to be part of such a well-planned celebration. As the young lady before me informed you, General Gray will speak at your celebration. We will have a color guard from Camp Henderson to kick things off. The Band from the Marine Corps Recruit Depot in San Diego will send us their contemporary music ensemble, which really should liven things up. Thank you once again for having us part of your Bicentennial celebration."

Carter was a man of few words. Fortunately there weren't many questions, so he was able to sneak off back to camp. Once in his car, he chuckled about the reference to his 'tour of duty' at the White House. Carter was given Presidential Unit duty in the Spring of '75 after receiving the Navy Cross for his heroic efforts in the evacuation of Saigon. The following winter was a cold one, and the President slipped on the icy steps of his helicopter, Marine One. Carter thought and acted quick catching his Commander in Chief, most likely preventing him from severe injury. The problem was most every newspaper in the free world was graced with a photo of a panicked looking Vince Carter holding up an awkward looking Gerald Ford on their front pages. Within weeks, Carter was 3,000 miles away 'promoted' to leading Marines at his old base.

When Carter made it back to his office he couldn't help but notice 1st Lieutenant Chuck Boyle and his platoon sergeant, Gunnery Sergeant Duke Slater, standing in the corridor. Both men were former corporals of his. Boyle went through the enlisted commissioning program after 'Nam, now he was technically Carter's superior. Slater surprised everybody by rising to such a senior enlisted rank. trying to appear inconspicuous, but looking like a pair of cats who feasted on canary.

Ignoring protocol, Carter suspiciously asked, "OK you two, what gives?"

Lt. Boyle answered, "You have a visitor Sergeant Major."

The Sergeant Major, remembering his rank, responded, "Thank you, Sir."

Snickering, Gunny Slater added, "It's the section leader for the Marine Band Ensemble performing at the Westlake High Bicentennial Celebration."

As soon as what the Marines said registered, panic spread across Carter's face. The combat veteran thought no_, no, no, it couldn't be _as he entered his office. But plain as day, sitting in front of his desk, was a very familiar lanky Marine. He had a few more years and a couple more stripes on him since Vince saw him last, but the Sergeant Major recognized the Marine vocalist instantly.

"Surprise! Surprise! Surprise!" Exclaimed Sergeant Gomer Pyle, U.S. M.C.


	2. That's Sergeant Major Carter to You!

_Marine Corps Base Camp Henderson, California 1900 zulu (12 Noon PDT) 21 June_

Carter told Pyle, "Well, Pyle, I have to admit I'd never thought I'd see you wearing sergeant's stripes."

Pyle replied, almost embarrassed, "I was just promoted earlier this month. They said if I didn't make sergeant, I'd have to get out. The Marines are a second family to me Sergeant Carter."

"Sergeant Major." The senior Marine absentmindedly corrected.

The junior Marine was genuinely remorseful and started apologizing, "Forgive me, Sergeant Major, I meant no disrespect…"

Carter cut him off "….at ease Sergeant. And you did your part to earn those stripes."

Pyle calmed down and gratefully responded with, "Thank you Sergeant Major."

The Sergeant Major thought back to a time a few years ago in Da Nang. He was first sergeant of a Marine battalion in a very messy war. He and what was left of his platoon had some R&R time at the Vietnam Air Base. There was a USO show that night. During the show, a then Corporal Gomer Pyle was able to take a lot of Marines away from the war and in to a happier place for at least one evening. Carter was thankful that he was able to keep Pyle away from combat by making sure the junior Marine re-auditioned for the choir.

Carter acknowledged, "You're welcome. And all of us sergeants have an important role to play in the Corps."

Pyle smiled, and looked at a picture of Bunny on Carter's desk. "I was happy as a pig wallering in the mud when I heard you and Bunny got hitched."

Carter replied, "Thanks, I think. I lucked out on that. Almost waited too long." The Sergeant Major hastily added, "sorry to hear about you and Lou Ann."

Pyle simply said, "Lou Ann decided to be a career girl. She's now in charge of 8-Track tape distribution for all of the Los Angeles area Tower Records."

Gomer tried to sound cheerful, but wasn't very successful. His buddies warned him about Lou Ann Poovey, and after all she was set to marry another feller when she broke of the engagement to be Gomer's girl.

Carter attempted to console in his own way, "Just remember, Pyle, there are plenty of women that go crazy over the uniform of a sergeant of Marines. Just go and find yourself one." The Sergeant Major then noted, "You are in town a bit early."

Pyle explained, "My detachment will be helping build the stage for the bicentennial celebration at Westdale High." Pyle went on, now smiling, "We're going to be seeing a lot of each other for the next two weeks, Sergeant Major!"

Sergeant Major Carter just grunted, "Swell, let's go get some chow." The two Marines then left for the mess hall.

At around the same time the two sergeants were going to lunch, Peter Brady was just waking up. The middle Brady son had more privacy, as he had recently inherited the attic from Marsha. Greg was the first to stay in the attic, and then Marsha had stayed there for a year after Greg went to college. Now that Marsha herself was staying at her sorority house, the attic went to Peter per Brady tradition.

Peter made it down the stairs to get some breakfast. He didn't get far before being stopped by his mother.

"Peter!" Carol Brady called, "Are you just getting up, it's almost noon?"

Peter winced. He was busted. The current tenant of the attic was up late watching a _Doctor Who_ marathon on the local PBS station, but couldn't very well tell his mom that. He also didn't want to lie, so he truthfully replied, "I was up late watching the university's TV channel."

Carol let it go, but her two youngest daughters weren't about to.

Jan goaded her brother, "Marsha left as soon as she was 18, leaving you the attic. Hurry up and find a job or a college so I can move up there!"

Cindy backed her sister, "Yeah! It's not fair that Jan and I have to share a room, while you and Bobby each get your own rooms. Once Jan moves in the attic we all get our own space."

Overhearing the exchange, Bobby lamented, "Hey! It's not exactly a bed of roses sharing a bathroom with you two!"

At this point Mrs. Brady jumped in, "Now kids, Peter will find his direction at his own pace. And until then, he will always have a home here."

Later that night, in the privacy of their marriage bed, Carol did express her concerns to Mike.

Mrs. Brady mentioned, "Honey, I am concerned about Peter. After being rejected by Stanford and USC, he hasn't been doing much to find a job or enroll in school."

Mr. Brady comforted his wife with, "I share your concern, dear, but Peter has always marched to his own drummer. He also has a penchant for falling on his feet. Let's give him a little space. If come fall he hasn't made a true effort to find employment, or enrolled in some sort of trade school or college, we'll have to lower the boom so to speak."


	3. The Crushes

_Westdale HS Stadium Monday 28 June 1976 0100 Zulu (6:00 PM PDT)_

Gomer reported to Jan, "Well, Miss Brady, the stage is ready. The light crew is coming in tomorrow. We should be done ahead of schedule."

The middle Brady daughter appreciated being treated so maturely. She replied, "Thank you Sgt. Pyle. The reason we are ahead of schedule I'm sure has a great deal with the help of you and your men. By the way, I've told you several times, call me Jan."

Sgt. Pyle replied, "Only if you call me Gomer. And you're welcome."

Just then Cindy came up crying. Jan's immediate attention was on her sister. "Cindy, what's wrong?" She asked.

"The bicentennial is ruined!" Cindy exclaimed.

Jan soothed, "Calm down, tell me what happened,"

Cindy sobbed, "The radio DJ I lined up to be MC backed out."

Jan asked, concerned, "Johnny Sunshine can't make it?"

Cindy nodded, "He got fired over the weekend. I guess he said something he shouldn't have on the air. All the radio station would tell me is that he's probably on his way to Cincinnati. And they didn't have anybody to replace him."

Gomer asked, "Cindy, why don't you MC?"

Cindy asked, "Me!"

Jan agreed, "Yes, you! Gomer, that's an excellent idea! Cindy, you know the line-up, and you're an excellent public speaker!"

Cindy was still a little dubious, and wondered, "Do you really think I can do it? I'm just a kid."

Gomer said, "Age shouldn't matter. Everybody else is ready to go, and they know they're parts. And I personally know General Gray, and he would not miss this event to save the world. You'll do fine."

Cindy was now smiling and ran off calling to her sister, "I have to go get my notes! Jan, I'll meet you out front."

Jan offered, "Gomer that was very nice. Would you like to come have dinner with my family."

Gomer replied, "Golly, yes, I never say no to a home cooked meal. The guys were wanting to go out on the town anyway. Just give me a minute to tell them they can take the car, that is if you don't mind giving me a ride to your place. I can take a cab back to the base."

Jan said, "Don't be silly. I'll give you a ride to the house, and back to the base after dinner."

During dinner, between bites, Gomer proclaimed, "Great meatloaf, Mrs. Brady."

Carol replied, "Oh I can't take credit, Alice made dinner."

Mr. Brady explained, "Alice is our housekeeper, and her meatloaf is world famous."

Gomer said, "I can see why. It's as good as Aunt Bee's"

Bobby asked, "Who's Aunt Bee?"

Gomer answered, "Oh she took care of our Town Sheriff and his son."

The youngest Brady son then said, "Oh, kind of like Alice did before dad and mom got married." Which kind of confused Gomer, but made the housekeeper mist up a little.

Mr. Brady thanked Gomer, "We really appreciate everything you've done, from helping Jan with stage construction to helping Cindy today."

Gomer blushed a little and said, "Oh it tweren't nothing."

Jan said, "Oh it was something. Aside from being a talented singer, Sergeant Pyle is one heck of a carpenter and mechanic. He could make most anything work on that set. Plus the way he led his men, he would just ask and they would jump. Plus the way he complemented Cindy…."

Peter then asked Gomer, "How long have you been in the Marines, Sergeant Pyle?"

Happy to avoid the accolades, Gomer answered Peter, "Three hitches. The best twelve years of my life. They're doing a special enlistment/reenlistment ceremony during the bicentennial program. General Grey will be giving the oath of enlistment to area volunteers joining and re-upping during the fireworks. I can't think of a better time or place to sign on for another four years."

Alice said, "That sounds very patriotic. Right up the ally of my cousin Emma. She's a retired Army Master Sergeant."

Bobby grunted, "Ugh, I remember Cousin Emma. When she was here, every day is like boot camp."

Peter asked, "What about Marine boot camp? Is it as tough as I heard?"

Pyle explained, "It is very challenging. They do push you to your limits, but if you have the desire to be a Marine, you can make it through. Just when I thought I couldn't finish, Sergeant Carter brought out the inner strength in me to make it. And here I am."

Jan asked, "Is that the same Sergeant Major Carter we met?"

Pyle replied, "Yes, ma'am. He is a Marine's Marine. A hero in two wars."

Mrs. Brady observed, "He is quite the imposing figure."

All Peter said was "Cool."

Later that evening, after Jan had taken Gomer back to the base, Mr. and Mrs. Brady were chatting over a late night piece of pie in the kitchen while Alice cleaned.

Carol told Mike, "I'm a little worried how infatuated Peter seemed about the Marines."

Mike laughed and said, "I'm a little more worried about how infatuated Jan was with a particular Marine."

Carol replied, "Jan has a good head on her shoulders. Besides, Sergeant Pyle seemed like an honorable man. I was just worried that we put too much pressure on Peter to get a job or go to school and he felt the Marines were a quick way out."

Mike agreed, "I hope Peter's not thinking of joining the Marines because his sisters want the attic. Too bad Cousin Emma isn't here. She may be able to give him a 'boot camp' experience he wouldn't forget. I can't see Peter going for waking up at 0500 to do chores…"

Overhearing, Alice offered, "Cousin Emma may be out of the state, but I may know somebody who can help."

The housekeeper then got on the phone, "Hey Sam, is your cousin still stationed at Camp Henderson?"


	4. Fully Skinned Potato

_4222 Clinton Way. Tuesday, 29 June 1976. 1200 Zulu (5:00 AM PDT)_

The Brady's were awakened by the doorbell. Mr. Brady put on a robe and stumbled through the dark living room to see who was calling at such an unreasonable hour.

Opening the door, Mike groggily told the visitor "Sam! I know butchers get up early, but why are you here at 5 AM? And more importantly why are you in a Marine Corps uniform?" As soon as finished his question "another" Sam in his regular butcher clothes appeared behind Marine Sam. "Butcher Sam" was laughing.

The Marine explained, "I'm not Sam Franklin, I'm his cousin Master Sergeant Charlie Hacker, U.S.M.C."

Both Carol and Alice came up to the door. Carol asked Sam, "Wait, Alice has an identical cousin who is a Master Sergeant, and you have a cousin who is a Master Sergeant."

Sam, still laughing said, "But my cousin is a Marine. Charlie agreed to help you out with Peter."

Mike allowed, "It may be a little extreme, but desperate times…."

Hacker said, "Great! I have my own baton. Mind if I borrow one of your aluminum trash cans?"

A few minutes later Peter awoke to the sound of a baton beating against a trash can and a Marine Master Sergeant shouting, "Out of that rack, Brady! You have 30 seconds to get dressed and get going! You want to be a Marine? Well careful what you wish for!"

Peter groggily said, "Sam? You can get in trouble dressed like that."

Hacker screamed, "I NOT SAM! You WILL address me as Master Sergeant Hacker or Master Sergeant! Are we clear?"

Peter replied, "Yes sir, I mean Master Sergeant!

After putting Peter through some grueling calisthenics in the back yard, Hacker and Peter headed to Camp Henderson. Jan went with them under the guise of bringing Peter back.

Sergeant Major Carter decided to have breakfast with Gunnery Sergeant Slater.

Slater claimed, "I'm telling you Sergeant Major, a hot blonde brought Gomer back to the NCO quarters last night."

Carter said, "Yeah right. It probably was his Sunday School teacher."

Slater pointed out, "Well, don't look now, but the Sunday school teacher is drinking coffee in the mess hall."

Carter looked and did a double take. He groaned, "Oh no. It's that Brady kid. She's only seventeen! Seventeen!"

Slater observed, "I was only seventeen when I enlisted. Besides, I'm sure it's something perfectly innocent. We are talking about Gomer, after all."

Carter wondered, "I don't know. Who knows how young they consider marrying age back in the hills wherever he's from."

Jan saw the two NCO's and called out, "Hello Sergeant Major, have you seen Gomer?"

Carter smiled and replied, "Sorry miss, gotta go."

Slater asked, "Hey, I thought we were having breakfast…"

Carter explained, "I'm going to look up Tower Record's number to get a hold of Lou Ann Poovie…"

When Pyle made it down to the mess hall, he was surprised to see Jan Brady there.

"Miss Brady," the band sergeant asked, "What are you doing here?"

Jan smiled and said, "My brother is learning about the Marines from Master Sergeant Hacker. I was hoping to run into you…."

It finally started to dawn on Gomer that the young girl may be smitten with him. He didn't want to hurt her, but he also knew she was far too young for him.

Gomer chose his words carefully, "I am flattered, Jan, but you know after this I'll be hopping all over with the band…"

Jan smiled again and cut him off, "Oh, don't worry Gomer. Yes, I did have a bit of a schoolgirl crush on you. Funny thing though, sitting here the past hour in a Marine Corps enlisted mess, I've gotten a lot of attention from young men closer to my age…."

Gomer looked honestly concerned, and said, "Now you shouldn't be running around with just any of these fellers…."

Jan laughed, "You're so sweet. That's what I like about you. No, Gomer, don't worry I don't plan on being the belle of the Marine Ball, at least not this year." Then as an afterthought she added, "I wonder where Peter is?"

Gomer and Jan found Peter in the galley with a potato peeler and a rather large sack of potatoes.

Hacker was screaming at the middle Brady son, "Peel faster recruit! Peel faster!"

Gomer yelled, "Hey Sergeant Hacker!"

Hacker yelled back, "Pyle! Bet this brings back memories!"

Pyle laughed, "I must of peeled a ton of spuds."

To show off for his sister and the other Marine sergeant, Peter picked up the pace. Unfortunately, Peter was a bit uncoordinated and inexperienced at peeling potatoes. Peter ended up accidently nicking his hand with the potato peeler. Jan screamed at the sight of her brother's blood.

Gomer, out of habit of training, shouted, "Corpsman up!"

Sergeant Hacker quickly applied pressure to the wound and got Peter to sick bay.

The Navy Corpsman on duty greeted Peter with, "You're a lucky young man, for a couple of reasons. You're wound doesn't look too bad, and the doctor we have on duty is a hotshot reservist—very experienced."

The Doctor, a Naval Reserve Captain, took one look at Peter and asked, "How old are you son?"

Peter answered, "Eighteen"

The Captain went on, "When will they stop sending us these children? I have socks older than the average Marine on this post."

The Corpsman rolled her eyes and explained, "Captain Quincy, Peter here is a civilian injured in a potato peeling accident."

Soon Peter, Jan, Gomer, and Hacker were joined by Mr. and Mrs. Brady. As an interested pre-med, Greg was also there.

Dr. Quincy explained, "Peter will be fine. I had to put in three stitches, just have him see his family physician in a couple of weeks."

Carol sighed, "Oh Peter, I'm sorry. We just wanted you to see that service life is no picnic."

Peter agreed, "It's tough. I don't think I'll be joining the Marines any time soon…."

Just then Sergeant Major Carter entered the sick bay and said, "Serving your country is more than peeling potatoes young man. Feel free to talk to me or one of our representatives any time soon. Hacker, we're going to talk about this real soon. Oh and Pyle, you're going to have a special visitor at the 4th of July Celebration."

Hacker grunted, "Yes Sergeant Major."

Pyle said, "A surprise…. Golly."

Peter said, "Thanks Dr. Quincy and Sergeant Major Carter."

Greg asked the Doctor, "So Captain Quincy, what's it like being a doctor in the Navy?"

Quincy explained, "It is interesting you travel all over the world serving Sailors, Marines, and their families. I'm in the Naval Reserve now though, just serving part time."

Greg followed up with, "Oh really, what do you practice?"

Dr. Quincy replied, "In the most fascinating sphere of police work, the world of forensic medicine. I'm a medical examiner in the Los Angeles County Coroner's Office."

The eldest Brady Child exclaimed, "Cool! Do you guys do summer internships?"

Peter looked at his stitches and said, "So I was stitched up by the coroner…."


	5. Celebrate Good Times

Cindy Brady kicked off the Westdale Bicentennial Celebration like a pro. The young teen announced, "Happy 4th of July, Southland!" Waiting for the cheers to die down, Cindy instructed, "Please stand for the posting of the colors, pledge of allegiance and the national anthem."

After Cindy's announcement, the color guard from Camp Henderson brought out the flag, Cindy led thousands in the pledge of allegiance, and Sergeant Gomer Pyle sang the national anthem followed by the Marine Corps Hymn along with the Marine Band detachment.

Brigadier General Edward Gray then read from the Declaration of Independence and spoke of the importance of the bicentennial. The Westdale Band played some patriotic numbers, as well as the Brady Kids.

While the other acts were performing, the Marine Band detachment was packing up. Gomer then saw the surprise visitor Sergeant Major Carter was talking about.

"Lou Anne!" Gomer greeted his former girl.

Lou Anne Poovie replied, "Hey Gomer."

Pyle asked Lou Anne, "So how have you been? Are you still singing?"

Poovie replied, "The record store has been good to me. And yes, I do find an open mike night here and there. I heard you're in San Diego now."

Gomer confirmed, "Yes'm. I'm back on the west coast. Probably will be for a while."

Lou Anne hesitantly said, "It would be OK if you came to call… that, is if you want."

Gomer smiled and said, "I'd like that a lot." The two then hugged. Fireworks started.

Pyle looked up and apologized, "I've got to go back on stage as part of the ceremony."

Lou Anne smiled and told Gomer, "Go… just come back."

As the fireworks were going on, Cindy announced, "Now as a special bicentennial moment, General Gray will give the oath of enlistment to those initially joining or signing on for additional terms of service in any military branch."

Gomer led the line of those heading on stage to take the oath. Much to the Brady's surprise, Peter got in line to take the oath of enlistment.

Peter explained to his astounded family, "Sorry I didn't say anything before now. The Marines were a little intense for me, but the Air Force has a pretty good business program. I signed the enlistment papers Friday, but I won't be leaving for basic training in Texas for six more months. I'm sure we'll have a lot to talk about when I get home…"


End file.
